Tuesday, November 15, 2005

A Fresh start

As a kid, i always used to wonder what this one really meant! "Computer" - This word always used to puzzle me. I have always wanted to open a computer and see what lies inside that. Then came the Internet. One more thing in my never ending list of "puzzling things". I never understood what it meant(Even now i dont, just that i have got used to it! ). I have always had a aversion towards biology ( Reason: may be its very silly, but the truth is i feel very disgusting to see, talk or even think about operation, operation theatre, hospitals,...). This one combined with my fascination for computer made me choose Computer Science Group over Biology Group ( there were just two group in my school) in my higher secondary.

Very soon, my romance with computer science ended with a series of low score in the tests and to add to the woes, i had a very boring and uninteresting teacher for Computer science. I never cared to be awake in her classes. The practical classes, were even more boring than the theory part. Only consolation being the games that were available on the lab machines. I started going to computer science tution in my twelfth standard. Though, i didnt understand anything, i just mugged up everything, right from hello world program to some multi-threading programs in the practicals. Somehow I made a very decent score in computer science in 12th and got away with it!

Then came the very difficult part, choosing stream in my UG program. I found physics to be a much better choice compared to computer science(as per my higher secondary experience). Hence, i took up ECE in GCT, Coimbatore( though, there was a big dilemma to choose REC computer Science) and when it was time to enter my choice for BITS, i made the biggest mistake of my life. I chose EEE over other courses. Being honest, I never understood why i took that and i still dont understand anything in that! I will say i dont even know the basic kirchoff's law or the norton and thevenin's theorems in EEE ( For all these names, i had to search the net! ) Somehow, i crossed three years in BITS with EEE and now in fourth year, i find that i'm irresistibly attracted to Computer science. May be addicted to it. But to be honest, i dont have any scope in EEE any further. Probably thats why i'm teaching myself to turn my attention towards some other thing! Whatever it is, now i really dont have any option....Just to stay atop of the tide and let myself get carried where it takes me!

Friday, November 11, 2005

Left stranded!

Fours months have gone after coming here. Now just one more month to go. I hear all kinds of news. I develop all kinds of doubts, confusion. Everyone has started to think about job. People have started making jobs in their PS. Tension starts gripping everyone. Uncertainity is my companion! May be I should have been there in the campus for the first sem! A lot of other "May Be's" come to the mind! Now comes the luck factor. When things dont go your way or when the going gets tough, you blame all your inefficiency and inability on this innocent, non-existent "Luck Factor". You feel you are unlucky. I'm no exception!

Everything was new after coming here. I was introduced to this glamourous corporate life(Glamourous n charming - to stay out n watch but not once you get into it). When i really started getting the corporate feel, i have to get back to where i believe i really belong. The problem is that even that isin't permanent. I can't sit back and relax. I have to find a way to make my way back here. I dont have a sense of belongingness in either place. Not here, Not there. Its all gone. The feeling of belongingness, feeling at home in bits , everything is gone now. Same is the case with this life!

Now i'm in a really confused state. I can't stop thinking about this! Where do i really belong! Neither here ....nor there....do i belong...then where is the place for me! When your mind does the same thing over n over and again n again, it really loses the likingness for that. If this job has given me such a feel in just four months time, then I really can't think about doing this work for the rest of my life! yeah...i'm really left stranded! stranded in the middle! hanging in balance....Waiting to take side!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Diwali madness!

Diwali - The Festival of lights! The day, Lord Krishna killed Naragasura. Well, thats what oldies will say when you ask them what is diwali! May be its nothing more than a way to earn two days holidays or way to take a break from your busy n boring life. May be this is what a Bangalorean will say!

A typical lower middle class family man sees this as an oppurtunity to get his children some new clothes, crackers, sweets... get his wife some new sarees.... the much awaited break to take his family to his In-Law's place....or probably to some movie. whatever it is, surely its the time for the whole family to be happy...to enjoy...atleast once in a year!

Every city certainly springs into a rocking mood for diwali. Coimbatore, this normally silent city (silent after the serial bomb blast) has certainly got back on its feet for this diwali. That was visible from the rush that was there in every shop! Crowded Streets, Crowded shops, Crowded buses!It was evident from everything!

The day before diwali, you could see every two wheeler carrying more than two people! I started wondering why there was such a madness ! You can see every shop overflowing with eager and anxious people who rush to make their last minute purchase. Sure, diwali is the time to enjoy. Everyone have every right to do that. But not at the cost of others....others happiness!Well, i started realising the fault wasn't theirs!

Coimbatore being a city of mills, having as much mills as the colleges there(though only a handful of them are operating these days!) has a huge number of people working in mills and other industries. Every year, they get bonus for diwali from the mill and industries. People start planning and make their list of purchase well in advance...i wont be surprised if i learn that they had started their planning as early as June! But the mill owners just drag n drag till the very last minute. Exactly a day before the festival, they give the diwali bonus to the workers. In such a situation, what else do you expect ! just madness...craziness everywhere! What are they going to lose if they give that money sometime in advance! If they have decided to give the money, then why should he hold that back till that very last moment! If people get that amount in advance, it will atleast allow the people to make their purchase at their leisure, not in such a hurry!

Well, when are they going to learn to be rational! This mad rush could really turn out to be disastrous! Already we hear a lot of people have got killed in Stampede...road accidents.. and a lot more on this diwali eve!Sad things happening when it was actually the time to be happy! when are they going to realise their mistakes! If done once, its mistake...If its repeated again, then its a blunder! Wonder who is going to put an end to these blunders!