Monday, October 24, 2005


I'm not a saint and so are you! May be saints don't wish for anything or don't have any expectation. Even that is not true. He's always waiting for salvation. Expecting an answer to his life or whatever! Everyone of us have expectations.

You get up in the morning expecting a bed-coffee from your mom. You get ready. Go to the office expecting some better assignment than your current boring one. You submit your code to your manager expecting some recognition, a word of praise, encouragement. All in all, right from dawn to dusk, you have few expectations.

Well, with expectation, there comes every possibility of disappointment. You expect something to happen, but it turns out to be other way round. You get disappointed. It can be a small disappointment like missing your bed-coffee to a bigger one like missing your promotion. Whatever it is, disappointment surely pulls your spirits down.

Once you get disappointed, you recover quick. It happens twice, fine. you can take that too! but if it keeps happening, then comes the problem. You start thinking. Why does this thing happen. Why does this thing "always" happen! That too, only for me! Then, there comes the transition. Your disappointment changes into frustration.

May be, you can overcome frustration too! But, when things don't go well, when you are already frustrated, then comes the biggest problem of all. Your frustration turns into depression. All the way, if you have had some support, probably it would have been better, may be you wouldn't have come to that state.

Few people stay fine, when they dont think much ( Anand, Praga- guess you know who i'm talking about! others ignore and move ahead!). Once they start thinking, then comes the problem. When people go to a depressed state, they start thinking a lot. Lot of crazy stuffs, real crazy stuffs. So, what is the solution? The best solution, probably, is "Dont have any expectations!", which ,of course, is not possible in one way or the other. So, finally, it boils down to "A Solution-less Problem Case!". You get into it, you go through that. Only you know how to come out of it!


Some people say Life is beautiful while other consider Life to be nothing more than a mere burden. Well, how do i see Life? what is my perception ? I have never thought about this. Not till this very moment.

I will call Life, a mystery, probably more interesting and thrilling than a Ludlum's novel. It is a mystery, that is waiting to be solved. Everyday, the things that unveil are so varied, different, interesting and above all, unexpected. You can expect every god damn unexpected thing to happen. Every now and then, it keeps springing surprises. Be it good or bad, whatever it is, its a sweet mystery.

Never had any plans for the future. Its always too easy to take things as it comes. Nothing to worry. No big plans on hand. Sit and relax till you encounter something. How wonderful it is! Yeah,true!nothing to care about...worry about...But this one doesn't always work out. You , sometimes, have to stay prepared for a few things.

Its not always a cake walk. Sometimes, you need to really fight hard for survival. If you haven't planned, you might not be in a position to face the situation, for no one is an expert in handling all the challenges that life throws at you.

May be, this is the reason for my change - from "a careless, dont care about the future - guy" to "a worried about the future - guy"! With age, comes responsibilities, and of course, few worries too! But, probably thats the beauty of life. In every phase, you come across new things and eventually you learn to tackle that too. So, guess i have hit such a thing and its time to learn a few things!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

A Perfect Nonsense

You are in "C World". You do something, it doesn't turn out to be what you expected it to be. You ask for something, you dont get it. You think of something, it vanishes. You touch something, it breaks. In short, you were put up in a place where everything sucks!

You find a door, a locked door. Door which might lead to the heaven - probably, Alice's Wonderland! You go in search of the key. You ask everyone around you. Then finally you were given a deal. You do the job, you take the key! But there's one condition too! you can use the key only once! After that it will vanish!nice deal! pretty fair! You go for that!

You put your heart and soul in that job. You know its way too hard, atleast for you. But even then, you desperately need the key. You have to get outta this place! You are thirsty, you ignore that! You have to get the key! You are hungry, you ignore that! You have to get the key! You are tired and sleepy, you ignore that! You have to get the key! you work as if you are a machine that has no hunger, thirst, sleep, tiredness, nothing! Then finally there comes the day, when your work is rewarded. You are given the key- the key that takes you to the Wonderland!

You snatch the key, run. Run towards the door, with whatever energy you have got. You put the key in the key hole. Then, turn back, to say a final Good-bye to this world! You turn the key! You hear the clicking sound behind the latch. The door opens! Yeah...thats your heaven! You go inside. The first thing you see in that world is a Counter. You wonder what that counter is. It was a checking counter. The cop in the checking counter asks for your passport and visa. Oh ....shit! did i bring that one! You search your shirt pocket! nothing was there! Nothing!So Near yet So far!

Oh yeah, did you forget something!You have the key in your trousers! Thank god! you step in! Something was waiting for you! You were called by the Councellor! Oh no! not again! He says that your Visa will expire in 4 Months. After that you can't stay there! you have to leave that world! But you can't get back to the C-World too. You need to get a Visa for that too!

You are sad! You plan to take the visa to get back to the C world! But there was a huge competition! You were asked a few crapy things, and finally after convincing the Officer there, you get the Visa. They send you back to this C world after 4 months.

Once again they check for your passport and visa. You turn back, longing to take a look at the door. There it is gone. Its gone once and for all. You are trapped. Trapped in this world. Now, you can't go there! you have to stay here! But this time you dont have any deal but you have to work the same way, you worked to earn the key!

Well, I have perfectly no idea why i'm writing this but I believe this certainly is the case of PS-2 students like me atleast! You come here to this C World - Corporate World! You get the feeling that PS-2 is nothing more than a bonded labour scheme. Then you go back to the wonderland - BITS! but there also you can't stay more than a sem after the PS. You again take some job in some XYZ Company and come back here and do the same coding stuffs! Yeah the same shit!