Left stranded!

Fours months have gone after coming here. Now just one more month to go. I hear all kinds of news. I develop all kinds of doubts, confusion. Everyone has started to think about job. People have started making jobs in their PS. Tension starts gripping everyone. Uncertainity is my companion! May be I should have been there in the campus for the first sem! A lot of other "May Be's" come to the mind! Now comes the luck factor. When things dont go your way or when the going gets tough, you blame all your inefficiency and inability on this innocent, non-existent "Luck Factor". You feel you are unlucky. I'm no exception!

Everything was new after coming here. I was introduced to this glamourous corporate life(Glamourous n charming - to stay out n watch but not once you get into it). When i really started getting the corporate feel, i have to get back to where i believe i really belong. The problem is that even that isin't permanent. I can't sit back and relax. I have to find a way to make my way back here. I dont have a sense of belongingness in either place. Not here, Not there. Its all gone. The feeling of belongingness, feeling at home in bits , everything is gone now. Same is the case with this life!

Now i'm in a really confused state. I can't stop thinking about this! Where do i really belong! Neither here ....nor there....do i belong...then where is the place for me! When your mind does the same thing over n over and again n again, it really loses the likingness for that. If this job has given me such a feel in just four months time, then I really can't think about doing this work for the rest of my life! yeah...i'm really left stranded! stranded in the middle! hanging in balance....Waiting to take side!